Self-transformation: Revealing a New You

Posted by hayhouseoz on October 12, 2010 · 9 Comments 

No matter your background, culture or experience everyone goes through times that can only be described as an awakening – a time when you on the outside no longer matches you on the inside.  As you journey towards an expression of your authentic self you experience both challenges and liberation.

When our awakening goes to the deepest part of our self – our soul and our connection to spirituality – we become seekers of truth.  Though the answers are ultimately inside of us, we enjoy the support of external resources, tools and experiences shared by others to aid us in our exploration.

On the journey we experiment, encounter people who no longer support us, make new friends and ultimately meet, discover and reveal our true self.  There are awkward phases and then there are blissful ones.  Either way it is your journey, uniquely yours yet shared so similarly with others.

The shift occurring in you is about letting go of the old you and moving into a new you.  Much like a hermit crab changing shells there are times when you are exposed and vulnerable. There are also times when you try on the new home, have ample room to grow, only to then find that quickly you need the next. This in and out cycle is similar to the path we travel in our awakening to the deeper more soulful aspects of our selves.

Sometimes the learning is rapid and you experience great change. Other times you plateau and nothing seems to happen no matter how hard you try.  You also can slip back into old more comfortable patterns.

Whether you are years down the path or just beginning I share with you some timeless guidelines. Please consider these as suggestions to take on if they resonate, discard or file away if not.

Pace yourself

Your journey is not a quick dash around the corner for milk – it’s your whole life. As we continue to open up and connect to higher levels of consciousness we see others farther along on the journey.  In these situations it is tempting to compare, try to be like the others we see or even assume we can instantly be at the standard of a respected teacher.

So instead of trying to keep up with unrealistic expectations become more self aware of your own progress.  Pay attention to your achievements, insights, and changes. Notice when you make progress, plateau or regress. Be gentle with your self-imposed time pressure. There is no need for this extra stress if you are only keeping up with yourself.

Sensitively share what you know

Raising your conscious awareness invokes a thirst for new knowledge, experience, insight and states resulting in huge learning shifts.  The rapid nature of your growth can leave you bursting at the seams ready to shout your message from the top of a mountain. But wait.  So you know more than before. But are your friends and family actually ready to hear, let alone digest, even half of what you know?  Not likely unless they happen to be alongside you at your pace in the journey.

Instead it is a respectful and sound relationship building approach to check in with another person before you unload.  If the person is interested they will tell you. If not, then let it be.  Also consider testing out conversations on different levels, times and environments.

It’s your experience and you have a right to it

As a workshop facilitator and coach my number one rule is that your experience is firstly your experience, no one else’s.  Because it is yours, you have an inherent right to experience and process.  Each phase in the journey means you may encounter newness in awareness beyond your own expectations.  As one of my teachers taught me so well the most respectful way to support you is to simply ‘hold the space’ and not try to rescue you. If you feel that someone is not holding your space and trying too hard to fix you or make things better then let them know.

You also have self-responsibility for self care

On the flip side when you claim your right to your own experience you also need to assume self-responsibility. You own your experience and avoid doing the no no’s in my book – shifting blame, playing victim, skirting the issue or projecting your problems onto others.  Taking responsibility means knowing your boundaries and edges of your comfort zone. If you go outside of these and can’t settle then you need to raise your hand for help.

A good way to do this is to give some trusted people in your life permission to call you on your behaviour and give you feedback.  It’s like saying to a friend they can be your ‘talking mirror’.  So the next time you are saying to someone they are ‘not the fairest of them all’ you give them the right to turn it around and actually say it’s you – well of course only if it’s true.

Expanding on the importance of self-care consider having a team of helpers.  By team I mean a mix of friends, family, mentors, healers, practitioners in a variety of fields.  The more resources and support you have the more places you can go if what you are going through seems a bit too much.

No one can do the work for you

Even though I am a lover of readings and all things psychic, getting the information from others doesn’t mean that you are absolved of any work. On the contrary the more you know – whether through self awareness and tapping into your own intuition or getting a nudge from someone else – the more you need to take action and resolve.  Another can facilitate your process but not process for you.

…make sure any advice you get resonates and works for you before you act on it.

You can catch yourself with this one if you look for comments like “What do you think I should do?” or  “So and so told me that I am a ‘blah blah’ so that means I can’t learn how to do anything else” or “I know she said that I was going in this direction but it just doesn’t feel right. Oh well I guess she knows better than me.”  If you start saying things like this stop, check in and please make sure any advice you get resonates and works for you before you act on it.

Accept that sometimes people don’t get you

In our eagerness and thirst for more on our awakening journey we often learn faster and explore topics not normally on our radar. We also tend to venture off into territory not familiar to our close friends and family.  This means when we want to share our ‘new found’ knowledge we will sound like we are speaking a new language.

Be mindful that you were only recently in the same shoes as your friend or family member. It is not your job to enlighten or educate them, just as it was not their job to wake you up (ok maybe at some level it might be).  It is your journey, not theirs.  So keep to yourself what you are learning and going through and choose mindfully how and with whom you share. As you gain more clarity, confidence and courage in the new beliefs you try on you will find it less daunting to share with others. In fact you will likely not need to share with others, as your own integration will be expressed naturally in what you do.

Seek out likeminded fellow travelers

Similar to the experience you have in a workshop it is helpful to engage with others who do understand and ‘get you’.  Finding communities or groups of likeminded people gives you an outlet to express externally the evolving you.  It may be as simple as the clothes you wear or the language you use. It may also be more complex such as opening up to newly exposed emotions and challenged beliefs. Either way the connecting process helps defeat the sense of being alone that can occur if you are the only one in your regular environment making such changes.

Over time the groups of fellow travelers may shift and change. Relationships in times of awakening may be instrumental in the process.  Some people come along just when you are moving or shifting into new territory.  Be open and accepting. Develop and hone your communication skills so that you can be clear with people what is important to you and what is changing. If in doubt, communicate.

So now step back and consider where you are in your journey.  What works for you? What reminders might help you? Then pick one and explore further. I would love to hear more from you about your experiences on the journey and how you build the bridge.

Jenn Shallvey is a guest blogger for Hay House Australia. She is an intuitive writer, coach and facilitator helping people in transition. Jenn’s focus is on people being real in life and work by becoming their authentic, true selves.   To do this Jenn helps people get started developing, accessing and applying their intuition.  http://www.jennshallvey.com

Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged with inner guide, intuition, self-help, self-transformation