How Not to Take Things Personally

“Don’t take anything personally!” When I first heard this, I thought “What does it mean? Of course you take things personally when people are mean to you or say something nasty or bad things happen to you. It hurts and it makes you sad.” But, when I actually really thought it through, I realised that taking things personally does have a huge negative impact on you and everything that’s happening to you in life.

As it is sometimes hard to believe in something a 100% if you haven’t experienced it, (yeah, I know we need to have faith anyway, if we want to change things in our lives, but sometimes it’s good to do a little experiment.. 😉 ) I set out to really try this next time something negative happened to me. Amazingly enough, I discovered that instead of being hurt and sad, I actually felt quite ok even though I had experienced something that normally would have put me down.

We all know that when we’re not in our greatest mood we tend to be a bit edgy or nag a bit more or make comments that could hurt someone, even though we might like or love that person. But if you think about it, did that other person really do something seriously bad to give you a reason to yell or be nasty to him/her? Or, was it only your own mood and the way you felt that caused your outburst?

Don Miguel Ruiz, says in his book The Four Agreements: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering,” Think about this for a while…. “When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering,”

“I actually felt quite ok even though I had experienced something that normally would have put me down.”

Isn’t that exactly what usually happens? We hear something negative, maybe about ourselves, and then the whole day is ruined or we feel let down, sad or angry. It feels like everyone in the world is against us and we suffer, at least for a few hours, sometimes for days or even longer. But hey, STOP! Whatever that person said to you, is it really true? If we hear something negative about ourselves repeatedly then yes, sure, it’s easy to start believing that what this or those people are saying to us is true. But really!? Isn’t there a huge amount of “good” about you too? I’m absolutely sure there is!

Did that nasty customer really know you, or does that angry driver know what’s in your heart or has your complaining partner really taken the time to listen to your dreams and wishes to really get to know you? Well, I don’t think so, do you? So, why are we suffering when there’s no need to suffer? If these people are angry or upset with us and we know deep down inside our hearts that we haven’t done anything wrong, why do we suffer anyway? Isn’t suffering a waste of time?

Stand up and declare to yourself right this very minute that “From this day on and forward I am Not taking Anything Personally!”

Asa Nilsson is a guest blogger for Hay House Australia – http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=703673995&ref=ts

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Comments
3 Responses to “How Not to Take Things Personally”
  1. Wendy Harrison - Angel Intuitive, Reiki Master, Health Practitoner says:

    ‘Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’ (children’s rhyme)

    From an early age the message is out there about – ‘how not to take things personally’. How you begin your day sets the tone for the day! So start each day with a strong foundation. If your foundations are feeling a little shaky – they’re sure to crumble the moment someone looks at you sideways, mutters something that could be misconstrued as ‘your bottom’s looking big today’, or rushes by without acknowledging you at the start or end of a busy, busy day.

    ‘Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise’ (proverb)

    Being tired or hungry is a precursor to sensitivity and irritability – so in the your best interests and of those around you – avoid this dangerously draining situation. Learn to start your day by getting centered with creative and proactive activities. Some possibilities: meditation, yoga, going to the gym, writing down goals and intentions, visioning your day in advance – and remember – make time for breakfast!

    ‘There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation’. -James Nathan Miller (Author)

    When you quietly listen, you may actually see humor in how you can take everything so personally. When you’re in a conversation with someone else, stop and listen. Really deeply listen. Try practicing this first in everyday conversations that aren’t emotional. This will prepare you for more highly charged situations. And when you’re communicating your needs, communicate without emotion. Playing the ‘blame-game’ is a sign there’s a seismic 7 rocking your foundations!

    Living with adult children has helped empower me when it comes to ‘how not to take things personally’.
    Their daily mantra being – ‘IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!

  2. katren1147 says:

    It is really hard to not take things personally as we are all mere mortals as well as spiritual beings and we do have human failings which we try very hard to rise above.

    I believe very strongly that when someone criticizes or puts down another person that is it the fault they see in themselves, something about their lives they have not come to grips with and therefore they project forwards to the nearest person around instead of looking in the mirror and talking to their image and trying to change that fault in themselves. Self talk is important and to look in the mirror whilst making affirmations I find brings a more positive change.

    Whenever I experience the nasty customer, taxi driver, or partner’s poisonous fangs I immediately mentally send them white light and love and totally respect that something somewhere in their life that day has caused them grief and it is their problem not mine. I have even gone as far as asking are you okay today or is something troubling you – maybe I can help – would you like someone to listen to your problems and see if we can solve them. Amazing how this can turn the attitude around – try it.

    If said person is in front of me it is amazing what a gentle attitude and smile can do to change the day for them as well as us.

    Try a little tenderness – in response to the person throwing the hissy fit, and most importantly with yourself – smile and tell yourself how much you are loved and cared for by yourself and the Universe and then go on with your day knowing that you are a nicer and humbler person. Why, because you didn’t take it personally, and didn’t lower yourself to “attack” back. Just stand back and put the mouth into a smile and then it will reach to your heart and you will feel at peace once more.

    Love and light to you all

    Katren xoxoxo

  3. Katren Gardner says:

    1. It is really hard to not take things personally as we are all mere mortals as well as spiritual beings and we do have human failings which we try very hard to rise above.
    I believe very strongly that when someone criticizes or puts down another person that is it the fault they see in themselves, something about their lives they have not come to grips with and therefore they project forwards to the nearest person around instead of looking in the mirror and talking to their image and trying to change that fault in themselves. Self talk is important and to look in the mirror whilst making affirmations I find brings a more positive change.
    Whenever I experience the nasty customer, taxi driver, or partner’s poisonous fangs I immediately mentally send them white light and love and totally respect that something somewhere in their life that day has caused them grief and it is their problem not mine. I have even gone as far as asking are you okay today or is something troubling you – maybe I can help – would you like someone to listen to your problems and see if we can solve them. Amazing how this can turn the attitude around – try it.
    If said person is in front of me it is amazing what a gentle attitude and smile can do to change the day for them as well as us.
    Try a little tenderness – in response to the person throwing the hissy fit, and most importantly with yourself – smile and tell yourself how much you are loved and cared for by yourself and the Universe and then go on with your day knowing that you are a nicer and humbler person. Why, because you didn’t take it personally, and didn’t lower yourself to “attack” back. Just stand back and put the mouth into a smile and then it will reach to your heart and you will feel at peace once more.
    Love and light to you all
    Katren xoxoxo

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