Attracting Love and The Law of Attraction

Ask anyone who believes they have manifested their romantic relationship and chances are, no matter what they did, their method involved putting their attention to what they wanted. Intently focusing on the object of their desire, they have somewhat summoned the circumstances and events for it to come about. It’s the Law of Attraction at work, or in other words, the idea that what you focus on is what you get.

Some of the most common methods incorporating this willful intent for manifesting a relationship include the single person writing a list of the traits desired in a prospective partner or creating a vision board of their ideal relationship. Another is physically creating a space for a relationship. This might involve the ‘Pairs Principle’; the placing of two candles, two nightstands, two pillows or anything else in pairs to encourage love.

As much as these methods follow the idea that what you focus on is what you get, there is one thing that can get fundamentally overlooked in the process: the focus on the self. Overlooking ourselves in our approach to love is perhaps why many of us complain we don’t seem to attract the ‘right’ match for us or why we feel we aren’t in a fulfilling relationship. While we may be in and out of love, we still feel we haven’t met ‘the one’ that ‘gets us’ or is in sync with us on many levels – spiritually, mentally and emotionally and physically.

Blocks to love

Bestselling authors Esther and Jerry Hicks, who detail how to use the Law of Attraction for finding and improving relationships in their book The Vortex, say you get who you are, not just what you want. Both must be in alignment for that person to manifest in your life. So if you want a committed, generous, open-minded gentleman, but instead attract a man who loves his single life and doesn’t take you seriously, it’s worth taking a look at the limiting thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that are holding you further away from your ideal match.

A common roadblock on this path to love is that we may, unconsciously, be focusing too much on what we don’t want. According to the Law of Attraction, doing this will attract you to those unwanted things because asking not to have something summons that thing up just as powerfully as saying you want it. As the Hicks’ put it, ‘You get what you think about, whether you want it or not.’ It’s when you worry that you haven’t met that special someone or when you’re not even happy with yourself or how things are working in your life, the authors say, that sends out a “request” to attract the same things you are thinking about– all people, experiences, situations come to you in response to what you are putting out in the universe.

‘You get what you think about, whether you want it or not.’

Another way we can prevent ourselves from attracting our ideal match is when we hold the belief that finding another person will “complete” us in some way. The Law of Attraction, however, cannot bring you a well-balanced, happy person if you are not already that. Like attracts like. ‘Asking your relationship with any other to be the basis of buoying you up is never a good idea, because the Law of Attraction cannot bring you something different from the way you feel,’ say the Hicks. ‘The Law of Attraction cannot bring them someone who will appreciate them when they are not already appreciating themselves. You must feel better before it can come to you.’ The question is, how can you expect someone else to love the things you don’t even like in yourself?

Looking within

Once we are aware that we have to work on ourselves before we begin to attract our ideal match then it becomes easier for us to move towards a wonderful relationship than if we stayed unhappy with where we are. The Hicks’ advise focusing on the things that consistently make us feel good, even if that focus has nothing to do with relationships, as the fastest way to make your way to a wonderful relationship.

A good place to start, they authors say, is to make peace with where you are in your life now by beginning to accentuate the positive things that are currently happening. This includes making lists of the good things that you like about yourself and your life, spending time doing activities that give you pleasure, like spending time with friends, running or painting, looking forward to where you want to be, and admiring and appreciating the traits in others that are most appealing to you.

The key is to remove the discomfort that comes from thinking about the absence of your wanted mate. ‘You can get to where you want to be from wherever you are – but you must stop spending so much time noticing and talking about what you do not like about where you are.’ If you can bring yourself to a place of consistently feeling good, there is nothing but positive energy to naturally magnetise someone who is a match to us. Think of it as being the best you can be and attracting someone at that level.

Directing your thoughts, words or actions to attracting the ideal partner begins with the self. If you love and appreciate who you are, you attract someone who is an ideal match for you. It is by bringing out the energy of what makes you feel great and energised, and noticing circumstances and people that make you feel joyful and loved, that is the key to manifesting your ideal relationship more than any wish list, vision board or twin candle holders can achieve.

The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships by Esther & Jerry Hicks is available at all leading retailers.

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