I’m Surviving, Why Do I Need Self-Help?

Many of us go through life without relying on a self-help book, talking to a therapist, or taking up a personal development course. Sure, we may be far from getting over a major setback or suffering a dent in self-confidence, but it doesn’t mean we are necessarily living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

According to Richard Brodie, author of Getting Past OK, even if we are just comfortably coasting through life, we can turn it up to gut-satisfying fulfllment, where everyday is about true satisfaction and enjoyment.

So how to get your quality of life in the WOW zone? Here are a few of his tips:

OLD ROUTINE: Doing what is expected of you

Many of us have been brought up with the belief that if we do what is expected of us we will be rewarded, praised, and be seen as ‘good’. We may decide to follow a stable career path that our parents’ took instead of trying a creative field we’re passionate about. Or we may decide to stay in the same city as our relatives and friends when what we really want is to explore what it’s like overseas.

CHANGE TO: Letting go of the need for approval

We spend our childhood being trained to do what our parents and teachers approve of. But we can get so used to seeking other people’s approval that we don’t stop to realise there’s another way to live life which comes when you make your own self-approval more important than the approval of others. The highest quality of life comes when you make what’s most meaningful to you more important than what others expect of you. Living a complete, fulfilling life begins with asking yourself, ‘What do I want?’. The more you put off your dreams, wait for something to happen, or settle for less than what you want, the further you are to your richest, fullest life possible.

OLD ROUTINE: Setting goals and achieving them

Even if you’re already a wonderful person and a great achiever, you have an incredible amount to gain by discovering your life’s purpose. Goals have an end; your purpose is ongoing. You may have goals to save $50,000 in the bank or to complete a project on schedule. But a life’s purpose is living a life of fulfilment rather than a life of survival or achievement.

CHANGE TO: Living your life’s purpose

There are people who know what their life’s purpose is. They feel, with absolute clarity, what gives them a sense of what is important, worthwhile, and meaningful in life and live it everyday. But even if you don’t know your purpose or, rather, aren’t conscious of it yet, look to the peak experiences of your life – the best times you’ve had, the most joyous times, times when you felt worthy, important or delighted. Then imagine feeling like that a lot more often. You already know which experiences, people and things you find attractive and which you find repulsive or indifferent. Discovering you life purpose is as simple as finding the common denominator in what you already know.

OLD ROUTINE: Staying in your comfort zone

As much as we want to improve our quality of life, the fear of swimming in unfamiliar waters can block us from living our best life. If you want different or better results in life, you’re going to have to change.

CHANGE TO: Start taking risks

Changing our ways can be scary. But remember, fear that keeps you from doing what’s most important to you is just an illusion; it’s a message from your DNA that it want you to stay safe so that you can make lots of copies of it rather than getting eaten by a sabre-tooth tiger. Treat that unwanted fear as an annoying advertisement for a product you don’t want or need: you can notice it’s there, completely ignore it, and do what you were going to do anyway.

Getting Past Ok: The Self-Help Book for People Who Don’t Need Help by Richard Brodie (Hay House, RRP $26.95) is available  at all leading retailers.

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